


Caught Somewhere in Time

by orphan_account



Category: Iron Maiden (Band), Music RPF
Genre: HeavyMetal, M/M, Male/Male, MusicandBands, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 13:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15050102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Current Day, Legacy of the Beast Tour 2018





	1. Part One - Bruce's POV

**Author's Note:**

> Absolute fiction. No claims made or implied

The sun was in my face, impossibly bright even through my eyelids, and I put my hand over my eyes. I didn't want to be awake yet, it couldn't be quite noon yet. Much too early, especially since the sky was already lightening toward dawn when we got back to the hotel last night. I must have moved slightly because I heard a slight mumble and felt warm breath on my back. The solid heat of a naked body was pressed up tight against me and an arm tightened around me before slackening again as it's owner fell back into deeper sleep.

I very carefully turned further onto my right side until the sun was no longer directly in my eyes and slowly opened them. The bedside clock read 11:42 and the car wouldn't be here to take us to the airport until 4:00 so I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, my fingers absently stroking the back of the hand that rested against my bare stomach. When I opened my eyes again it was 11:57. I knew I would be tired later if I didn't get some more sleep but I couldn't seem to drift off. Thankfully there wasn't a concert tonight. Ever since this tour started social media was ablaze with things like 'Bruce has defied aging' or "Bruce looks better than ever.' Bullshit. I was getting old, I would be 60 in a couple of months, and even though I kept myself fit I could feel the difference.

Another unintelligible murmur sounded from behind my back and I smiled to myself, looking down at the ivory white arm snaked across my dark hairy stomach. At least someone was sleeping well. God, how many times had I awakened with that arm wrapped around me? Hundreds. How many tours? Thirteen? Fourteen? I didn't want to remember the tours when I woke up alone every morning or the tours where I'd feel different pairs of boobs pressed to my back most nights. None of that mattered, those memories weren't worth recalling. It was times like this that I treasured. I felt at home, I felt I was where I belonged. I softly stroked my thumb across the smooth skin of the back of the hand on my belly, feeling a warmth spread through me just thinking about it.

It hadn't been quite this peaceful the first time, however, so many years ago. We've both gotten royally pissed the night before and instead of waking slowly and gradually I'd been startled awake with a jolt as my companion sat bolt upright with an audible gasp.

"Bruce, what the hell happened last night?!"

I remember I rolled over and my head felt like a knife was slicing through my brain. It took me a moment before I could open my eyes and I was met with a pair of gray eyes peering suspiciously at me from beneath a cascading mass of golden brown waves.

"Umm, wha..?" I mumbled.

"I want to know why I'm in bed with you and why we're both naked?!"

Oh shit! He didn't remember. I remember how frantically I wracked my brain to think of a way to explain the situation. It turned out I didn't have to say a word, the minute I saw his eyes widen and his mouth fall open I knew he remembered. He had been sitting up in the bed but then he fell back onto the pillow and put both hands over his face.

"Oh my God, Bruce, we....we shagged!"

"Uh, yeah. Jan, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were that drunk..."

He was shaking his head. "I wasn't. At least, I didn't think I was! But fucking hell, we had sex. I remember it all now!"

I tried for some humor "Do you remember if I was good?"

Janick took his hands away and stared at me in disbelief. "Is that all you have to say about it?!"

I sighed. "What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry it happened? Because I'm not! You had to know how much I wanted you!"

He had known, I saw it in his eyes. We'd known each other for over a year, we'd gone to each others shows, gone out for drinks dozens of times, and I know I let my feelings show when I had a few beers in me. Jan knew I swung both ways, it had never bothered him, and there were a few times I could have sworn he flirted back. Then I felt I had to ask. "Are you sorry it happened, then?" 

He took a deep breath and opened his mouth, but closed it again. I laid back and let him think, closing my eyes again. My head was killing me. I opened them again in surprise though when Jan spoke.

"No. No, I suppose I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. And if I really didn't want it to I wouldn't have kept hanging around with you, would I?" He paused and sat back up, looking down at me. "So....what happens now?"

 

"I don't know." I grinned at him. "Wanna do it again?" I wagged my eyebrows at him and was rewarded with a reluctant laugh.

And we did do it again. And again and again and again. That had been 1980, thirty eight years ago, and we're still doing it. I hasn't all been a bed of roses, make no mistake about that. I closed my eyes, snuggling back against him a bit and remembering the ups and downs over the years. Like the first time I told him I loved him. It was the same day I announced I was going to marry Jane. 

I was with Maiden by then and Janick was at uni, taking classes because his music career seemed to have stalled out. A whole group of us had gone out hopping from pub to pub to celebrate my engagement but I was very aware that Jan was unusually quiet. He was usually the life of the party, always ready with a joke or a comment whenever we went drinking but all that night he had been keeping to himself and downing drinks like he was on a mission. After a while I made it a point to sit next to him and monitor his intake, a little worried about him. I even broke the celebrations up early to drive him back to his place in Hounslow. He wasn't dead drunk, just tipsy, but if it had gone on much longer he would have been very drunk indeed.

I remember he didn't say a word during the drive and when we got to his place he went to get out of the car without even a goodnight. I jumped out and followed him to the door but he didn't even acknowledge my presence even after I followed him inside and sat on the couch, just looking at him. Finally he swung around and I was astonished at how angry he was. Jan never got angry. He would get frustrated or perturbed but I had never seen him truly angry.

"What, Bruce?! Just go, go back to your house. Jane will be waiting for you!"

I pushed my surprise aside. "She isn't there, she's at her folks. What's wrong with you tonight, Jan? You're acting really weird."

He sighed, seeming to deflate. "Just go, Bruce. Leave me alone."

"You don't want me to stay the night?" I had been hoping for a little fun.

He stared at me, incredulous. "Are you mad? You're engaged, you don't need me anymore!"

Suddenly I figured out what was going through his head. He thought it was over between us now. That had honestly never entered my mind. I stood up and went over to where he was agitatedly pacing the room, putting my hand on his arm to stop him. 

"What are you talking about? I'll always need you!"

"Yeah, for a handy fuck when your wife isn't around? No thanks!" He shook my hand off and started to walk away but I grabbed him again, harder this time.

"Janick, stop talking like an ass, you know it isn't like that!" I implored. "It never has been!"

He whirled back around to face me. "Just what the fuck is it like, then? What would you call it when someone throws someone aside after years of...of whatever we've been doing?!"

I've never been known for having a long fuse and I was shouting too now. "Nobody is tossing anybody aside, goddamn it! Will you sit down? Just shut up and sit down for a minute, will you?"

He was still fuming but he followed me back to the couch, sitting stiffly at the opposite end and looking at me defiantly, waiting for me to speak. Looking back at him, meeting those stormy gray eyes, I was hit full force out of nowhere with the magnitude of my feelings for this man.

"Janick, I....I love you."

He looked taken aback but no less angry. "Bullshit, Bruce! Bull fucking shit! You're just trying to sweet talk me so you can fuck me and it's not going to work, not this time!"

I was shaking my head, overcome with a sadness I couldn't articulate, and I felt tears prick at my eyes. I hated when that happened, I hated emotional displays, I hated feeling vulnerable, but I couldn't help it.

"I don't want that, not if you don't. I just want you to know how I feel. I've been in love with you for years, I always thought you knew that."

He was struggling to maintain his anger but he was relenting, it simply wasn't in his nature to stay angry. His voice was a little quieter now. "If you're in love with me why are you marrying her?"

I anticipated that question but I didn't have an answer. I couldn't explain it, deciding to marry Jane was an impulse on my part but I couldn't back out now. Maybe it would even work out. I hoped it would.   
"I do love you but I can't marry you. I want to get married, I want a family. You know I've never really had a family. Don't you want a family of your own, Jan?" I heard the pleading note in my voice but I didn't care. And that got through to him, I saw his expression soften and he looked down.

"Yeah...maybe someday."

"And I know you still date women." He did, I knew. I never minded that, I could deal with competition from women. It wasn't the same as what he and I had.

His head snapped up."I haven't gotten married! There's a big difference! And now you're telling me you love me. You've never told me that before."

I nodded. I knew it looked contrived but it simply wasn't that way. "It's hard for me to say things like that, you know that. And when it comes to that, you've never told me how you feel about me either."

He looked startled, like he hadn't realized that. I let him think for a moment in silence, then he looked up at me again.

"I suppose I always thought you knew, too."

I moved closer to him, relieved when he didn't move away. "That I knew what?" I asked softly.

"That you knew how much I love you." his voice almost faltered. "Because I do."

 

I smiled to myself at the memory of how the rest of that night was spent, and as always I felt a stir of excitement at the thought. That marriage didn't last but my relationship with Jan has, it's the longest relationship either of us has ever had. Thinking about making love with Janick that long ago night I briefly contemplated waking him now with a blow job but I reluctantly decided to wait. He was up late and even after we went to bed and had a long vigorous round of sex he was still hopped up from the nights show. Sixty one years old and he was as full of energy as ever, the adrenaline coursing through him as he danced and played and lost himself in the music. No, I could wait, we had plenty of time before we had to check out of the hotel. Janick was always worth waiting for. I had learned to wait long ago. And there had been times when I had to wait a long time to be with him again.

 

The hardest thing we ever had to deal with was when I left Maiden. He was in Maiden himself by then and I knew it hurt him when I left. He said he understood but I saw hurt and bewilderment in his eyes. They say that the eyes are the mirrors of the soul and that is certainly true of Janick. Even when I was in one part of the world working on my solo projects and he was in another part touring with Maiden I would see photos of the band and I could see the haunted look in his eyes. Blaze Bayley was in those photos and I always felt a pang of jealousy when I thought of him in my place working alongside Janick. In my heart I knew Jan would never be with any other man but I have always been possessive of him. He grew closer to Davey during those years too and that made me uneasy at times too. I love Dave like a brother but I wanted Janick all to myself.

I saw Jan rarely during those six years but when we did get together it was like a firestorm. We would meet at some neutral hotel or some such place and not emerge from our room for days. The mind blowing passion that had come to full bloom between us during my Tattooed Millionaire tour hadn't diminished one bit, in fact it seemed our prolonged separations only enhanced it. Jan was a voracious lover, the only person I've ever known whose libido matched my own and we both knew that our rare meetings had to tide us over for months so we were both sore and exhausted when we returned to our separate lives.

When I returned to Maiden in 1990 I got the surprise of my life. During one of my preliminary meetings with Steve he told me he knew about me and Jan, that he had known for years. The entire band knew as well as Rod and some of the bands oldest technicians. I suppose I had been foolishly naive in believing we had kept our relationship secret from people we worked and lived so closely with. Steve didn't care, he told me, as long as we kept it to ourselves and were extremely careful around the press. He also told me how my departure had affected Jan and that it had taken Jan a long time to get his old sparkle back. It was like a honeymoon for us during the Ed Hunter tour. We were both married by the time the tour was finished but that changed our lives only when we weren't working. When the band was on the road it was as though we were married to one another.

Jan broke my reverie by moving in his sleep, one long leg slipping between mine as he shifted position, his naked body solid and warm against my back. I could feel every familiar inch of him pressed against me and I was again tempted to wake him, since it was becoming apparent I wasn't going to be able to fall back to sleep. I thought back to last nights show, remembering how Jan had pranced across the stage, spinning in place and shaking that perfect ass in my direction. He was playing a new game this tour, playing up to Davey and fucking around with his tuning pegs. He knew I couldn't handle his flirting with anyone else, not even Davey, and he knew I would be especially ardent later when we got back to the hotel, needing to reaffirm my claim on him, which was part of the game. He loved his little games but when I would come over to separate the two of them he would laugh and dance away, teasing me.

It always made me a little uneasy when he danced with such abandon ever since the time he fell from the stage in Germany. He would get so lost in the music that he was in his own world and that time he danced too close to the edge. I didn't see him actually fall but I have always been unable to keep my eyes off him for very long so when I looked over and he wasn't there my heart stopped. It literally stopped, I couldn't seem to breathe for a minute. I think I hid it fairly well but when I listened to the recording of that show later I could hear the fear in my voice. I'll never forget looking down at him lying in the orchestra pit unconscious, his body twisted and blood staining his glorious hair bright red. I had to finish the song but I was like a robot. I am not a religious man but I prayed that night, I prayed all the way to the hospital, unwilling to even contemplate that he could have been seriously injured, that he could even be dead. Thank God it wasn't terribly serious but it could have been, and now every time he dances close to the edge my heart jumps into my throat. I never told him how frightened I had been. He wouldn't want me to worry like I do and he would try to tone down his performance and I can't be responsible for that. Janick is Janick, he is free and unbridled and that's what makes him who he is. 

I glanced at the clock again. 12:20. It was no good, I wasn't going to get any more sleep. I also had to take a piss so I moved very, very carefully away from Jan, still not wanting to wake him, and slipped into the bathroom. While I was in there I figured I may as well take a quick shower and have a shave. When I came back into the bedroom Jan was sleeping on his back, spread eagle, the twisted sheets barely covering his loins. I sat on the edge of the bed intending to pull my sweat pants on before ordering up some food, but instead I found myself looking at Jan. I never got tired of looking at him, he is just so beautiful. His hair is pure blonde now and straighter, lighter than when he was younger, but he still has the same strong face, the same milk white skin that's so silky to the touch, the same long, lean body. I let my eyes travel down that body, the body I know as well as I know my own, and I felt myself getting hard. Never had I known anyone who could turn me on so fast, even after all these years. 

He once told me it's the same way for him. He said he had never been a highly sexed man until he started sleeping with me. I found that hard to believe at first but after years of being so close to him and observing him I could see he's fairly restrained around women, even almost shy unless he has a few drinks in him. I've never known him to sleep with the groupies even when some of the other guys in the band had been. Even when I had been. When I was going through chemo and was in so much pain I couldn't sleep I spent many, many nights thinking about things I regretted, and I kept going back to one thing. I regret ever hurting Jan. I know I must have hurt him many times, more times than I'll ever knew. I'd broken my word to him, I'd gone off and shagged other people when I knew he was waiting for me, I'd been angry about something unrelated and been too rough with him. And he never complained. When I apologized to him later he would smile that beautiful smile and tell me he understood. How did I ever deserve the love of someone like him?

Unable to resist, I laid back down and softly brushed my fingers down his strong jaw and across his cheek. He mumbled something and rolled over, still mostly asleep, reaching out for me. I moved into his arms and he tightened them around me, pulling me closer. His gray eyes opened a slit, hazy with sleep. I leaned and kissed his lips softly.

"Good morning, gorgeous." I whispered.

"Mmm....morning, Brucie." he murmured. "Do we have to get up yet?'

"No, not yet, go back to sleep." I kissed him again.

"Don't wanna." he murmured, pulling me even closer, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I felt his lips on my skin and I felt his fingers playing down my spine. I knew the signs. My Janick is feeling frisky and that's all right with me. I have never once in over thirty five years turned down a chance to make love to him and I wasn't going to start now. My body was way ahead of my mind, I was already as hard as a rock for him. Some men my age may need Viagra but with Jan around I knew I never would, he'll always be my Viagra. The scent of his soft hair was making me breathless. That scent was like an aphrodisiac, every time I smelled it I was reminded of the countless times we made love.

Janick was nibbling at my neck now, always with just the right pressure, just the right sting of teeth mixed with the soft, warm tongue. I captured his face between my palms and kissed him deeply, feeling his immediate response, feeling him melt into me and feeling his arousal press against my leg as I crawled over him. There were times when I was so filled with awe and wonder for him I would spend hours giving his body attention, but this wasn't one of those times. This was one of those times when I can't wait to be a part of him and, as finely tuned as we are to one another, I know he's in the same frame of mind. To hear us, a person would think we were still in our twenties. Moans, sighs, little cries of want deepening into long, low groans as we joined, gasps and incoherent mutterings as we climbed higher and higher toward the pinnacle we both sought and finally sharp cries we reached that summit.

In one way I suppose I have to concede to growing older. In our younger years we would have gone at it again after cleaning up and having a drink of water but now Jan took his shower while I ordered us up some food. If we were staying in this city he would soon be taking off on one of his walks, wandering for hours, sometimes trying to hide his telltale bright hair beneath a beanie though he rarely succeeded, he was usually recognized by at least a few fans. He never minded, always smiling for their photos and gladly signing autographs. He usually found his way to some pub eventually. My Janick likes his beer. He usually goes out by himself, he's always been perfectly content with his own company, though some times Davey accompanies him. Dave knows how it is between Jan and I, the fun and games between he and Jan are just that, fun and games. I know who will be sharing Jan's bed at night and that is all that matters.

The car comes for us right on time and on this tour I sit with everyone else on the plane, no Captain Dickinson this trip but just an ordinary passenger. It feels weird and I would love to be up there in the cockpit, but sitting here next to Jan is pretty nice too. Just after we took off Jan tapped my wrist lightly, drawing my attention away from watching the earth recede through the window. I turned to him inquiringly.

"You've been lost in your own world all afternoon, Brucie. What are you thinking about?"

I smiled a little sheepishly. I suppose I had been unusually quiet, but once I started reflecting on all the years I've been with Jan I couldn't seem to stop. A seemingly endless slide show had been passing through my head.

"Just thinking about you." I was straightforward about it. Jan knew me well enough he would have guessed soon enough anyway.

"Me?" His voice was teasing but he gave that million watt smile of his. "You planning some sort of shenanigans, are you?"

That wouldn't be unheard of, but not this time. I shook my head. "No. I'm just in one of those moods, you know. I woke up too early, I suppose.'

"Well then we'll have to get you to bed early tonight to make up for it."

I laughed. "You know perfectly well that even if I go to bed early sleep will be the furthest from my mind if you're there."

"Can I help it you're as randy as a goat?! Maybe I should just sleep in my own room tonight, then."

He was teasing me but I didn't laugh. There had been many times when we had to sleep in separate room on tour for one reason or other and it had always been maddening, knowing he was just down the hall but I couldn't be with him because we had a film crew along or some promoter or someone staying on the same floor. I'd given Harry my word that we would be discrete around anyone outside our merry little band and we had never broken that promise. 

Oh, there had been some close calls, especially in the years before I quit the band. When Jan joined Maiden we were fresh off the Millionaire tour and downright voracious for one another. He would drive me out of my mind onstage humping his Strat and grinding against the stacks and I knew that it made him as horny as it did me. There were many times when we skipped the showers to lock ourselves in a dressing room and fuck each others brains out. He would be all over me as soon as the door was closed, his hand down the front of my pants and his tongue down my throat and sometimes we forgot where we were and got loud. There were always people milling around backstage and more than once they heard us. We would emerge from the room and get some very strange looks with out mussed hair and glazed expressions but the regular crew knew what was going on and anyone else just assumed we had some groupies in there.

I finally grinned back at Jan. "Don't you dare make me sleep alone, you wanker! I was just thinking about some things we haven't done in a while and I've a mind to try some of them tonight!"

His eyes lit up with that particular look he always got when he was getting aroused. "Oh? Are you going to tell me what you're thinking about or are you going to make me wait?"

I let my fingers trail a little further up his leg. "I'm going to make you wait and if you ask me again I'll make you pay for your curiosity!"

There was no mistaking it now, he was getting excited anticipating what I might have in mind. Truth to tell I haven't decided yet what I want to do. We had done practically everything over the years and agreed that some things just weren't for us. I remember we were in Australia once and I tied him to the bed and was teasing him long and slow by lightly stroking a feather I'd picked up on the ground all over him . He loved it up to a point but being unable to move brought on a mild panic attack and he almost hyperventilated. I had to untie him pronto and that pretty much put a damper on that night's activities. So bondage was out, though I had asked him to restrain me a few times after that. He didn't particularly enjoy that sort of thing after the panic attack experience and we wrote it out of our sexual repertoire.

We tried spanking a few times too and on one occasion Harry got the shock of his life. Jan and I were in our hotel suite but somehow I hadn't locked the door. He walked in without knocking to find me standing there naked with my Powerslave mask on spanking Jan's bare arse as he leaned forward over the bed. I'd never seen anyone turn as red as Harry did then, he mumbled an apology for not knocking and ran out of there so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet. Jan was mortified and got a little pissed at me when I cracked up laughing but other than Steve not being able to meet my eye for the following few days, we got over it. And, as I remember it, we were both really getting off on the spanking and role playing until Steve burst in. I stored that info in that back of my mind as I leaned back in the plane seat and tried to doze off.

I no sooner closed my eyes than e were landing again, these damned short flights through Europe were never more than an hour or two. I heard jan and davey discussing which pubs to hit that night during the ride to our hotel, we had been to this city a number of times so we all knew the best watering holes by now. That was all well and good, he could go out and do his thing as always, but only after I was through with him. We booked separate room as always to keep up appearances but the entourage knew perfectly well we would both be staying in my room, an didn't even bother going to the room assigned to him. He had a phone call from his daughter and I had some business to talk over with the tour manager, and when i returned to the room i found Jsn sitting on the bed rummaging through his ever-present backpack.

"Going someplace?" I flopped on my back on the bed behind him.

"In the morning, probably. Dave wants to have a few in the hotel bar later tonight."

I nodded, this was our normal routine and we were comfortable with it. I reached out and ran my fingertips ever so lightly down his back, feeling him shiver. Jan is ticklish and I knew all of his vulnerable spots. He twisted around and smiled at me. "You're still in your weird mood, I see."

"Weird?" I pretended to be offended but he knew better. "I don't know what you mean." I was tracing along his flanks now and he giggled reluctantly, reaching down to still my hand. I took advantage and pulled him down next to me, capturing him in a kiss. He was lying on top of me and i swatted his denim clad behind. "Did you forget I promised you a little something when we got here?"

He was laughing. "What's gotten into you today?"

"Nothing," I paused significantly, "yet!"

He took the hint immediately and his eyes darkened the way they did when he was thinking about sex. It had been some time since I'd taken the receiving role in our love games, not since the tour last summer in fact, and I'd been missing it. Jan was always hesitant about it but once he was into it he was surprisingly aggressive. I swatted his arse again, a little harder this time, and I felt myself starting to get aroused.

"So that's the way you want to play, is it?" He slipped into his part so naturally neither of us gave it a second thought. Gripping the back of my neck he attacked me, his kiss hard and moving down my jaw to bit my neck sharply. I momentarily hoped it didn't leave a mark but if it did I had makeup to hide it. He slipped his knee between my legs, pressing himself firmly against my crotch, still biting my neck and collarbone. I reached down and upbuttoned his jeans.  
"Take these things off, let me at that arse of yours!"  
Laughing, he did as I suggested. His regular jeans aren't as skin tight as his stage clothes and as he got older he started wearing underwear, although he chose the skimpiest briefs imaginable. So skimpy that right now the tip of him was poking out the top, a sight that sent a rush of blood to my nether regions. I shed my clothes then pulled him down over me again, easing my fingers into the back of the briefs he still wore, cupping the perfect mounds of his ass. Jan still makes me feel like I'm 25, still makes me as hard and horny for him as I was back then, still makes me come as hard as I did back then. And if anything I love him even more now than I did back then, though I couldn't have imagined that would be possible.

I got him worked up to where he overcame his natural reluctance to be the aggressor. Getting him excited was a genuine pleasure, I loved seeing him as he gradually got swept up in the physical and emotional sensations. It had always been an equal measure of both for us, that's why it was always so good between us, so unbearably intense. When he was hovering close to the point of no return I pulled him over me, opening my legs beneath him so he was right where I wanted him to be without any effort on his part. I looked up, his eyes were as dark as slate now, his lips parted and his hair, so long now, falling down aroud his face.  
"You are the most beautiful sight!" I exclaimed, not intending to say it aloud but not sorry that I did. I raised my hips, feeling him brush against me, knowing he was so aroused he would give me what I wanted and that he would love it as much as I did. And he did, quickly getting back into this particular activity and I wondered why we didn't do it more often. That was all right though, keeping it a rare treat, something special and different for us to share every now and then. Our sex life never became routine or dull, not even after all these years.

We dozed for a while then he showered and dressed, going downstairs for a few drinks with Dave while I took out my laptop and caught up on the endless backlog of the half dozen things I always seemed to have going on at once. Lectures, my aviation company, still more book signings, a smattering of other things that haven't come to fruition yet, but beneath it all there was Janick, a constant presence, something that was as intrinsically a part of me as my own right hand. There is always Janick. There always will be.


	2. Part Two - Janick's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janick's thoughts, Legacy of the Beast tour 2018

Caught Somewhere in Time - Part Two

Janick's POV:

Davey and I had a few beers in a nearby pub then a few more in the hotel bar so when I returned to the room I found Bruce sound asleep half sitting, half lying on the sofa, his laptop still open and sitting on the table. I laughed to myself, feeling the familiar warmth spread through me that went deeper than the buzz I was feeling from the beer. Most of the world saw Bruce as the ultimate alpha male, all confidence and bravado, but at times like this I was reminded of the Bruce that very few people knew, the vulnerable, somewhat insecure Bruce who sometimes needed someone to look after him. I may be the only person in who knew Bruce intimately enough to see that side of him. Both being men we instinctively understood these things no woman possibly could. I closed the computer then knelt and gently unlaced his sneakers, slipping them off and lifting his feet so he was fully lying on the couch. He stirred a little but didn't wake. He drove himself so hard, sometimes to the point of exhaustion that I often worried about him though I knew it was pointless. Bruce is Bruce, he is always involved in so many different projects at once and I knew he would never slow down.

I found a spare blanket in the closet and draped it over him. I decided not to wake him only to make him go to bed, that would be ridiculous. I knew he hadn't slept well the night before, he'd been in a strange, reflective mood all day and I attributed it to being over tired. We have a show tomorrow night so he needs his rest. I couldn't resist running my fingers through his iron gray hair, though. It was growing longer now but I doubted if he would ever let it get as long as it was thirty years ago. In those days it hung down like a curtain when he leaned over me as we made love, I felt like a shield, like it was just us two and the rest of the world couldn't get to us. That was foolish, of course. The world often did get to us and sometimes it felt like every fate that existed was trying to tear us apart. It had even felt like he was trying to tear us apart at times, like when he left Maiden for those six years. He never understood how close I would get to complete despair when he was in one part of the world working on a solo album and I was in another touring with Maiden, or how much sleep I would lose when he was doing dangerous things like putting on a concert in the middle of a fucking war. 

I got undressed and got into bed with my book but after ten minutes of looking at the same page and not reading a word I gave up and put it aside. It was only just past midnight and I wasn't ready to go to sleep. A lifetime of jet lag and performing shows at night had screwed up my biological clock to the point where keeping regular hours was impossible. Bruce made a sound and rolled over, clutching the pillow to his chest and I smiled to myself as I looked over at him. Bruce and I had known each other since we were in our late teens, we had been lovers since our early twenties. The bond we had was the strongest I had ever known. I thought back to when we had made love this afternoon. He wanted me to be in the dominant role, sometimes I think it helped him to let loose of his responsibilities to have me take over. I'd been reluctant to do it the first time we had ever made love that way. It was during his farewell tour with Maiden. Some of the band were downright hostile toward him and though he never said it in so many words I knew that in spite of his success with Tattooed Millionaire he was terrified of failing as a solo artist. I don't remember where we were, someplace in Asia I think, and we'd been making out in his room when he suddenly flipped over so that I was on top of him.

"Okay, your turn!" he said.

"My turn for what?" I had no inkling what he was getting at.

"Your turn to fuck me. I know you want to."

"Bruce, you've gone mad. Stop teasing me!" I tried to flip back over but he was strong and wouldn't budge so I resorted to grinding myself against him. He had me worked up to the point of no return, we'd been especially physical on stage that night and he managed to sneak his hand in my lap on way back to the hotel, rubbing me through my jeans to the point I was afraid the others would notice I was hard when we got off the bus. 

"I've been thinking about it all day!" he told me, grazing his teeth across my neck in the way he knew went straight to my groin. Then he'd grabbed my hair by the fistfuls and dragged me down for a deep kiss.   
"I want you, Jan, and I want you in me!" he practically growled in my ear.  
Of course I gave in, and there would be no point in denying that I liked it. We clung to one another almost frantically throughout that tour but it finally ended and he was gone. Outwardly I welcomed Blaze Bayley and for the sake of the band I hoped he would work out, but in my heart he was always the replacement. He had none of Bruce's charisma and personally I felt his voice didn't fit the band. Those years were bleak even though I started my own family and tried to get on with life. We kept in touch, of course, and on rare opportunities we would manage a rendezvous when we were both in the country at the same time but at the time I believed I would never be able to work with Bruce again. 

When Bruce came back to Maiden he was surprised to learn the band knew about the nature of our relationship all along. I wasn't surprised, I knew at least one of them had known but I never told Bruce that. I'd told Davey myself about a year after Bruce left the band. I didn't plan to, but one night I had too much beer and it slipped out. I hadn't seen Bruce in months and it had been weeks since we even spoke on the phone. Dave and I always got on well and spent a lot of time together exploring the pubs in whatever city we happened to be in. That particular night, though, we were in a pub that had MTV on the TV over the bar and it was showing Bruce and Alex Dickson playing an acoustic version of Hell No. It hit me right in the pit of my stomach, seeing him with another guitarist felt like seeing him cheating on me in my beer befuddled mind. I was just drunk enough to start crying. I was trying to hide it from Davey but he looked at me with that knowing smile and I knew I wasn't fooling him for a second.

"Bruce sounds good," he remarked. "but not as good as he did on Millionaire."

I struggled to keep my voice from breaking. "He's every bit as good as he was on Millionaire, Dave, and you know it. Probably better."

Dave was shaking his head before I finished speaking. "No, there's something missing." He looked straight at me. "You."

Suddenly I wanted to get out of there. I couldn't stand to watch for another second. "I'm going back to the hotel, Davey. " I got to my feet a little unsteadily and Dave stood too. "You don't have to leave yet. " I told him. There was no reason for him to call the night short just because I was having an adolescent emotional breakdown.

"Bollocks. Come on, let's go." He steered me by my elbow outside into the cool air. We were several blocks from the hotel but I didn't speak as we walked, I just kept my head down and my hands in the pockets of my denim jacket. After a couple of minutes, Dave spoke again.  
"Do you want to talk about it, Jan?"

"Talk about what? I'm fine."

Dave stopped walking then and faced me. "You don't think I can tell how much seeing Bruce on TV upset you? I know you better than you think, mate."

I sighed, looked off down the nearly deserted street, avoiding his eyes. "I'm all right, Dave. really."

He just looked at me and I couldn't take the silence any longer, I finally looked at him. "I miss him, Dave!"

He nodded. "I know." Sympathy and empathy were clear in his voice. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here. It might help."

I stood undecided but then in my mind I saw Bruce sitting with Alex and I felt fresh tears prick at my eyes. "I ......I love him so fucking much, Dave."

"We all love Bruce, Jan. We all miss him."

I shook my head. "No, you don't understand! Dave...," I was openly crying by now, I couldn't seem to help it, "Bruce and I were lovers for almost fifteen years!"  
The only indication of surprise Dave gave was a slight widening of his eyes. After a moment he nodded. "I see." And he did see, I could hear it in his voice, the comprehension of how betrayed and abandoned I felt and how jealous I was at seeing Bruce with Alex. We started walking again then and in spite of the fact I was still quietly crying I felt somewhat better for having unburdened myself.   
"I went through something like this when H left." Dave said after a few minutes. I gave him a sharp look and he hurried to explain. "Ade and I weren't lovers, I don't mean that, but we've been together since our early teens. I know it's not the same but I got through it and you will too. You aren't alone."

And from that point I didn't feel quite so alone. When I felt the hopelessness start to creep in on me Dave always seemed to know and he wouldn't let me brood. I don't know what I would have done at times if not for him. I know Bruce is a little jealous of how close I am to Dave but I know he knows we're just mates. Bruce is the only man I can imagine being with, I had never been attracted to any other man. In the very beginning I denied I was attracted to Bruce. In those days it was still considered unacceptable for two men to have those feelings so when Bruce and I were together, out for drinks or hanging around backstage at each other's shows and I felt a jolt when he accidentally brushed against me I wrote it off in my mind as something else. Too many beers or the excitement from the how, anything other than the sexual magnetism is actually was. I got used to his being physically affectionate with me, he's a very physical person and it seemed he went out of his way to grab my arm or sit close enough to press his leg against my own. Then came the night when we both got as drunk as lords and went to bed together. 

I don't think I'll ever forget that night. We were in some cheap room he was renting temporarily while Samson was putting their first album together. I'd stayed over before, but not in the same bed. Still I didn't hesitate when he suggested we share the bed, in fact I remember my heart had started pounding like a jackhammer. I was drunk but not so drunk I couldn't anticipate the possibilities, but rather than being alarmed I was excited. And aroused, I remember how I got the quickest erection I'd ever had in my life. He laid next to me quietly for a minute then made a sort of groaning sound and suddenly he was kissing me, deep hot kisses like nothing I had ever experienced before. And I was responding. Within minutes he was going down on me and it was incredible. I came embarrassingly quickly and I didn't hesitate for a moment, I immediately returned the favor. Through the alcoholic fog I remember being astonished at how natural it felt, how completely at ease I was with doing something I had never even remotely contemplated before. I freaked out a little when I woke up the next morning but in the cold light of day I had to admit to myself I knew it was going to happen, I had even wanted it to happen. Seeing Bruce sitting there naked in bed with me, his long chestnut hair mussed, his muscular body dark with dense body hair, I felt myself getting turned on again in spite of not being entirely comfortable with what had happened. 

That had been the start and it escalated quickly from there. We took every opportunity we had to get together, though when he joined Maiden and I was touring with Gillan our opportunities were few and far between. I remember Ian had hinted rather pointedly several times that he wouldn't mind a little romp with me himself, but I managed to avoid it becoming an issue. I only wanted Bruce. And during the Tattooed Millionaire tour I got him, oh God did I! Every night, backstage, slipping into one another's bunk on the bus, everywhere we could, anytime we could. We were in a constant state of horniness, barely able to wait until we had each other again. I've seen footage from that tour and see myself fucking my Strat but in my mind I wasn't humping the guitar, I was humping Bruce. At times I was close to having an orgasm right onstage and I think there were times Bruce was too.

Bruce snored lightly, interrupting my musings. His snoring had changed somewhat since the cancer, it seemed to be the only aspect of his voice that changed. God, that was a horrible time, I still quailed when I thought of it. We all knew he suspected it before we even finished recording Book of Souls but none of us wanted to face it. I kept telling myself it was just a lump on his vocal chords or something, that's fairly common with singers after all. We were home in London when he found out for certain it was cancer and he came round to my house, walking over because my London house is quite close to his. I knew it was bad news as soon as I opened the door, I could see it in his face. I was as bright and optimistic I could be to his face but as soon as he left I broke down crying. 

Bruce didn't want me to visit him when he was undergoing chemo, he said he didn't want me to see him like that. He thought he looked like an old man. I didn't care what he looked like, I wanted to see him, to reassure myself he was still there, still breathing, still fighting. In spite of his protests I went round to see him at first but as the chemo progressed he was too sick and in too much pain to want to see anyone. I understood that and respected his wishes but I called every single day to check on how he was doing. When he was declared cancer free it was the best news I'd ever heard. Better than when Ian Gillan called me all those years ago to offer me a spot as his guitarist. Better than the day I auditioned for Maiden and was accepted on the spot. For weeks I hadn't dared look ahead, I hadn't dared contemplate all the possible outcomes. I felt like I could be happy again, because if I lost Bruce any further happiness would be impossible.

"You look like you're miles away, mate." the sleepy voice from the couch broke into my reverie and I realized I had been staring at the wall, completely lost in my thoughts. I looked over to see him stretching and running his hand through his shaggy hair.

"I was, I guess. Are you coming to bed?"

He grinned that mischievous grin and got up, coming over and lying down next to me. "I'm not tired now, I must have been sleeping for two hours."

"Did I say anything about sleeping?" I smirked at him and he laughed.

"You never get enough, do you?"

"Do you?" I returned the challenge. He was already running a hand up the length of my leg. It was a particular maneuver he had and he knew exactly how to touch me, the exact pressure of his fingers, the way he would draw close to my groin then back down only to get just a tiny bit closer the next time. 

"Of you? No, never." 

I was wearing a tee shirt and loose camo pants and he was lifting the shirt to press little wet kisses onto my stomach. I felt his teeth nip at me then suck my skin, knowing it would leave a mark because my skin is so fair. I slid down the headboard to lay beside him and pulled him closer, feeling myself stir, the feelings as strong as they were nearly forty years ago. My pants have a button-fly and Bruce unbuttoned them one button at a time, licking and nipping my skin until I couldn't take it anymore. I shoved my pants down and grabbed him by the shoulders, moving against him. 

"Get naked, Brucie!" I urged him, and he chuckled in my ear, both amused and aroused at my urgency.

"So impatient!" he murmured, but he quickly undressed and I pulled him down over me full length, kissing him deeply. Bruce is the only person I've ever been able to be completely uninhibited with in bed, I was wanton and not ashamed of it. "You've been lying here thinking up new and exciting ways to ravish me, haven't you, while I've been innocently sleeping?"

"Maybe..., " I was kissing his neck even as my hands were busy running up and down his back. I felt him hot and hard against my stomach and I shamelessly writhed against him, wrapping a leg around his thighs. I sometimes think I could get off on this alone, on just moving against him and kissing him, he has that effect on me. But he wasn't stopping at just that, he was moving down my chest and finding my nipples with his mouth, tonguing first one then the other. He told me once my nipples fascinate him, which I thought was weird at the time but since then he's proven it and surprisingly I loved it as much as I imagine women love that sort of thing. He mouthed his way down my stomach and I tensed, knowing what was coming, knowing he was going to tease me. Bruce is a master at teasing, his goal is to get me so excited I beg and I admit I usually do in spite of my determination not to.

I felt his warm breath on my erection, kisses on my stomach, my thighs, then hot breath on my balls. I'm moaning shamelessly by now but I'm not begging him, I can still maintain my resolve. The whole object of this game is to see how much I can stand. At times I think the anticipation is too much, that I would go over the top before he even put his mouth on me, and from Bruce's rapid breathing and urgent movements I could tell he was getting very aroused as well. Finally I felt him, just the lightest touch of his tongue on me and I cried out, bucking my hips involuntarily. 

Bruce placed his hand flat on my stomach. "Hold still now, behave or I'll stop." And he would, too, though he could never stop for long. I willed myself to relax, to lay back and let the sensations flow through me. He kept his touch light and varied where he would lick me, and all of a sudden I couldn't stand it for another second.

"Ah, God, Brucie, come on! Stop tormenting me!!"

He chuckled, placing a kiss just above my pubic hair. "And what's the magic word?"

"Pleeaasseeee!" I cried out, grasping his hair and pulling him to me. I was immediately rewarded by the feeling of his hot mouth engulfing me, slow and steady with a hum of satisfaction that very nearly finished me. It must have been a few minutes but it felt like mere seconds before I cried out again, spending myself in his mouth. He didn't relent until I was lying back limp on the pillow, my chest heaving as though I'd just finished a two hour concert. Bruce gave one last slow lick and raised up to kiss my mouth.

"I love the taste of you," he said softly, kissing me again. He was rock hard against my hip and I reached down to take him in my hand. 

"And what can I do for you in return?" I teased him.

"Mmm...I think you know what I want!"

I did indeed, and within a minute he was making love to me. Even though I'm over 60 now I was hard again soon, having a second orgasm just as he finished within me. As much practice as we've had it wasn't unusual for us to climax simultaneously, we were completely in sync. He slipped off me to lay at my side, his arms still wrapped around me as we drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow would be another day, tomorrow night another exhilarating concert and, I knew, another night of love. I turned my head to give Bruce a sleepy kiss before falling asleep and I heard him murmur an 'I love you'. "I love you too, Brucie. You have my heart."


End file.
